Life isn’t fair

Originally published in the Informanté newspaper on Thursday, 30 August, 2018.

Children are often heard complaining to their parents that “It’s not fair!” Parents, naturally, impart those words of wisdom we’ve all heard, “Life’s not fair. Get used to it.” Quite true, yet somehow we never quite end up believing it. Part of us still wants to believe it, wants the world to reward the fair and punish the wicked, and subconsciously live as though the world is like that. Yet such a simple belief causes the greatest cruelty, and has held back much needed progress.

Back in 1966, Mervin Lerner conducted a series of experiments, whereby a young woman was taking a test, with wrong answers resulting in electric shocks. This was, of course, fake shocks, but he let the real subjects of his experiment observe this. To them, a young woman was being tortured. Some had the option of stopping the torture, while others were told they could not. Some were told she was paid to undergo this experiment, while other were told she received no compensation.

At the beginning, most observers were quite upset – but as those who were unable to stop the torture continued watch, they started to denigrate the woman’s character, casting her as someone who probably did something to deserve the torture. When observers were able to stop the torture, or were told she would be compensated, this did not happen. 

Lerner’s research, which has been replicated since them, revealed a dark truth – most people subscribe to the Just World hypothesis, as he called it. We want to believe that our actions will have predictable consequences, that justice will prevail. That good deeds are rewarded, while bad deeds are punished. That is not the world we live in, but the need for it to be fair can be so strong we will warp and distort the facts so that in our minds, it can be. And we destroy what little chance we have of making the world just by doing so.

We start blaming the victims, since we think bad things only happen to bad people. Instead of punishing the rapist, we ask what someone did to be raped. Instead of helping a battered woman, we accuse her of provoking her husband. Instead of chasing a murderer, we ask what someone did to deserve being murdered! 

The most terrifying fact about the universe is not that it is hostile, but that it is indifferent. The world cannot ever be just, but the people can. Yet this will not happen if we do not act ourselves to make it so! By believing the world is just, that victims deserve their fate, we try to assuage ourselves that their fate will never befall us – we are good, after all. We do not empathize with those who need it most, and bestow cruelty on those who need the very justice we so crave. And yet by doing so, we ironically make ourselves more vulnerable to the world, as it leaves us unprepared for the worst life can throw at us.

By believing in a just and fair world, people stop trying to change the world at all – after all, if the world is just, why would you need to change society to help those in need? Why help the poor, when they must have done something to deserve being poor? We here in Namibia should be particularly sensitive to it, as we face economic uncertainty, while trying to resolve the conundrum of our far reaching economic inequality. We struggle with gender-based violence, yet like all our social ills, we seem to accomplish little.

Then again, a belief in a just world correlates strongly with religiosity, conservatism, and authoritarianism, three attributes Namibia scores high on. We can see the just world hypothesis in action on our social media, and yet we wonder why we as a nation cannot move forward. The answer is obvious – believing you live in a just world won’t make it so. If you want to live in a fair world, you need to take action.

While the world may be indifferent, we, as people, are not. By simply distorting our opinions to reinforce a belief that the world is already fair, we act in bad faith. Instead of choosing to create a better world, we turn ourselves into objects at its mercy. Our actions define us, after all. By being cruel and blaming victims, your actions define you as cruel, no matter your thoughts. By excusing intolerable actions, you become a perpetrator and apologist for them – you are implicitly an accomplice. We are responsible for our inaction.  We as a nation need to choose the kind of people we want to be – and start acting like it! Only through strong positive actions towards changes we want to see, will we have the consequences of those changes.

By choosing to act, as a just people in service to our nation, to our community, we can ignite the bright light of human virtue that has been sustaining civilization since the dawn of time. By creating the justice in the world we so desperately seek, we can make the universe a little less indifferent, as least in our sphere of influence. By not simply wishing, but by working, we can make the world be as it should be, and show it what it can be. 

After all, as Marcus Cole so memorably put it, “You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe.”

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